Tales of KOTOR: The World's Cry
by Dante-Raven
Summary: Part of BaM's contest challenge: the Mandalorians have begun to rage across the Galaxy, Revan and Malak are recruiting Jedi and a certain young Exile will find his fate torn between the lives of millions and his heart. ExileAtris
1. Chapter I

**Author's Notes: This was supposed to be a 4 chapter fic, but unfortunately, due to time constraints and other issues, I managed to pop out this one chapter. I'll have the rest of it finished in due time, but this was supposed to be my submission for BaM's Challenge Contest-o-Rama. In any case, please accept my apology and I hope you like it--or whatever it is I have here.**

* * *

Star Wars

Tales of Knights of the Old Republic

The World's Cry

The sky had darkened, signaling that the sun's warm rays had left, leaving nothing but the promise of a waterfall. The dark clouds that were rapidly covering over the light seemed to somehow express the collective feelings of the Galaxy as a whole.

War had come amongst the very doorsteps of the Republic in the form of the Mandalorians.

The Clans had united under one banner, that of their revered leader Mandalore, who eagerly devastated planets and lives, all in a bid to challenge the superiority of the Republic. Many had begun to flock towards the center of the Galactic Republic, pleading for support from the very people who fought to uphold peace and justice throughout the Galaxy.

The one thing that had held the very ideals of the Republic in its hands had done nothing but to wash it away in their clean pool of lies, leaving countless lives to suffer for their inaction. Once more, the Galaxy cried out for the Jedi Order to aid them, and yet again, the Order closed its doors on the public.

The thunder began to grow in noise, rolling towards the very prized jewel of Coruscant, the silver-gilded planet. The dark clouds sputtered with its flash of lightning, occasionally scratching the surface of the buildings that rose to meet the challenge of the sky.

Water peppered the entire Senatorial district, turning the golden tinted pillars of truth and justice to a drab grey, dousing whatever marvel it held in the eyes of the beholders.

Kail just sighed, sitting on the large windowsill in one of the corridors of the quiet Temple. He watched the rain come crashing down, a few drops spattering along the window itself. His hazel coloured eyes focused on the few drops and he couldn't help but smile as he watched the spattered drops streak down, almost as if they were tears.

Ever since he had been little, he had always watched the few drops come streaking slowly down. He always looked at the rainfall to be the world crying. The streaks fell as if someone were crying—rain storms just happened to be something awful that made the world cry louder.

He exhaled, his eyes focusing back on the rain falling across the city.

Lines of airborne vehicles filled the sky, and yet the rain did nothing to slow them down.

_No one can hear the cries of the few, save for us. We were born with this special gift and we have sworn to use it for good and justice. The Mandalorians have invaded and yet the Council—the _wise_ Council of Masters refuses to let us do what we were born to do._

Kail recalled the words of Malak and Revan, the two Jedi Knights that had defied the Order and left with over a dozen Jedi Knights to fight a war that the Council had forbid any involvement.

_What should we do? Shall we let the Mandalorians take the Galaxy?_ Malak had asked the group of young Jedi, Kail included, a week ago.

_Shall we let the innocents die, while the Masters debate over whether or not the soup in our kitchen should be on the menu today?_

_Should the Republic, the Galaxy-spanning union that has stood for twenty thousand years, fight without the support of their long time allies?_

_We've seen the destruction the Mandalorians have wrought,_ Malak had said, his voice filled with sincerity and sadness. _If we let this war continue without the aid of the Jedi, then how many more will suffer?_

Revan had brought her hand up, silencing the cheers and Malak's rousing speech. _We were born with a gift that can do a great deal of good to the Galaxy. This is one of those times when we have the chance to make the Galaxy remember the good we've brought. Join us, my brothers and sisters, and together, we can unite the galaxy once more._

The crowd had cheered and many had flocked to the pair, desperately wanting to join them in the quest to stop the Mandalorians and fight for the peace of the Republic.

That was over a week ago and Kail had yet to make his decision.

"Credit for your thoughts?" A strong voice asked, rousing Kail from his brooding.

Startled and looking to the figure, the young man grinned and shifted to one corner of the windowsill, his hand gently patting on the warm spot beside him. "Take a seat, Atris," he said, rubbing the spot.

She couldn't help but raise a brow, clad in her white robes, with her long white hair flowing between her shoulders and back. "I'll get dirty."

"So am I, but you don't see me complaining," Kail replied, rolling his eyes.

She appeared hesitant for a moment, gripping the gown of her robes. Finally, she took a step forward and sat beside him.

He felt the brush of warmth from her hand and shoulders as she sat down. The air around her wafted its way into his nostrils, filling him with a sense of euphoria from the scent of Telosian arctic flowers.

He didn't know if such a thing existed, but it always seemed to remind him of that particular area.

It didn't matter that it was there he had met her for the first time.

"Well?" She asked, not realizing that she was being studied carefully by the young man.

He couldn't help but notice how her icy blue eyes always seemed to soften when he was nearby and yet harden when her attention was focused elsewhere.

She'd been his closest friend and confidant since his last few years as a Padawan.

He'd been a Knight for almost four years and so was she.

With her cool exterior, determination and inherent wisdom that seemed apparent in many Echani, it wouldn't be long before the Masters crowned Atris as one of their own.

Kail continued to study her soft, pale skin, glowing ever so slightly from the growing warmth between the pair.

Finally, she turned to face him, her eyes quickly focusing on his hazel orbs.

He watched the corner of her thin lips crook into a questioning smile.

Turning away to face the strangely patterned carpeting in the corridor, he sighed. "Have you ever touched the Force in a way that you could feel every movement?"

She nodded, "of course. All of us have."

Kail frowned, shaking his head. "No, that's not what I meant. Neither Master Vandar's teachings nor Vrook's focus on the currents of the Force." He ran his hand through his dark hair.

"Well then, what do you mean?" She asked, slightly puzzled.

Pursing his lips he quickly tried to elaborate. "I mean, have you ever truly shut yourself from the outside world and even through the currents of the Force? Have you ever really _listened_ to the background noise?"

Not quite understanding, the Echani shook her head.

Gesturing with both hands, almost as if he were reaching for something, Kail continued to explain, "I have. It's like you're standing in the middle of a river—above the water, in the middle of nowhere. All around you is a waterfall behind you; the stream pushing you forward and to either side of you is dry land. There's nothing else. Just the touch. You're not wet, but you're not dry; it always rains. Every drop that touches you is a death in the Force."

"What do you mean?" She leaned in, eager to listen to what he said.

"It's like every time I go there, I can feel the prickling of lives. I can feel the deaths of people—the worlds, the cultures, the fear and panic. I feel everything when I'm there."

Concerned, she leaned in ever further, her breath on his ear.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, his body tingling with the touch of her breath.

"Have you told anyone about this?"

He shook his head, bringing his hands up and into his dark hair. "No," he whispered. Closing his eyes, he could feel the touch of the river in the back of his mind.

The prickles were growing, ever so slightly.

Not quite sure, Atris rested her hand on his back, rubbing him gently. "It's all right, Kail," she said softly.

"It's not, Atris." He shifted his head and looked at her. "I can feel this growing strength in the Force, but I can _feel_ the deaths."

"We all can too, Kail."

He shook his head. "Not like this. We've all known I've had a stronger connection to the Living Force. I can feel the deaths in a manner that none of the Masters could ever understand."

"I'm sure they will find the answer, Kail. You have to be strong."

He looked at her, studying her very carefully, his hand taking hers. The touch was warm and her skin softer than anything he'd ever imagine. It almost alleviated the pain in his mind. "Atris, you've been my dearest companion for years on end. I know how you trust in the wisdom of the Masters, but I can only hold onto this pain for so long."

She looked at him in what he could only see as shock, pain and something else that almost resembled betrayal. "What are you saying?"

He sighed. He knew it wouldn't have been easy. "I was contacted by Revan and Malak about a week ago. What they said—about death and this gift we have—it all seems to make sense."

Removing her hand from his grasp, Kail could sense the feelings of betrayal permeating from her. "Atris," he explained weakly, "I don't know what the Force has in store for me, but this pain is welling inside me. I have to go."

"They're traitors to the Order. You know that the Masters forbid them to go to war and now that they have, they're no longer welcome here."

He lowered his head. "Atris, I know all of that. I'm not asking you to go against what you believe in." He looked up, his eyes pleading with her. "I'm asking you to trust me as a friend and come with me."

Her expression was one of utter disbelief. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. Kail, how can you _think_ of such a notion and then dare to ask me to go?"

Kail nodded, attempting to smile. "You're right, Atris, it was all a mistake. Don't worry about it; it was just a thought anyway." He rose and turned around, looking back at the rain that continued to pour heavily.

The thunder had begun to move away, as well as its lightning that seemed to strike first.

Rising, Atris came between the rain and Kail. "What would make you want to go? Why would you betray your oath as a Jedi Knight?"

Furrowing his brow, Kail leaned in towards Atris, his voice earnest. "What would make you want to stay? It's exactly what you're asking Atris. I was trained to make a difference—to protect people and to stop injustices all over the Galaxy." He crossed his arms and his eyes focused intently on her own. "I believe the Council has made a grave decision and that we're allowing the injustice to spread slowly."

He could feel her ire grow.

"The Council made its decision without false pretense. Whatever their wisdom is, it far outpaces your pain!"

He clenched his jaw. "Can they feel the amount of death I have in the last year? Can you say you feel the deaths of millions every time you close your eyes? They're always there, Atris. I _have _to go. I have to save these people—these _innocents_."

She looked askance, her shoulders sagging a bit. "Don't."

He furrowed his brow. "Don't what?"

She looked at him, her eyes twinkling with something that continued to grow.

It wasn't until that very moment that he realized he could feel her pain in a way no one else could. He took her hand, his thumb caressing her soft skin, while his hand tingled with the touch of hers.

Leaning in, he wrapped his one free arm around her. "I'm sorry, Atris," he whispered, hearing her begin to sob. He still couldn't understand why she would be so willing to cry at this very moment, but he held her there, his voice soft on her ears and his eyes looking at the rain as it fell heavier.

"Don't go," she whispered in ragged breaths.

He held her tighter, clenching his jaw and rocking her gently. "How can I stop this pain?"

Lifting her head from his chest, she looked up at him, his hands moving quickly to wipe away the tears that had fallen on her soft, regal features.

"You know if it were any different I would stay only for you," he answered softly, "just only for you."

She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

He could smell the fragrance of her hair, overwhelming him and threatening to force him to stay. Lowering his head, he kissed her hair, holding her ever so tightly.

He looked at her again, his eyes studying her face and soft features. He could feel her turmoil through the Force in a manner far beyond what he expected, though he remembered what his teachers had said on numerous occasions: Kail had the ability to form powerful bonds with those closest to him.

Atris was no different.

After a moment of listening to her sniffle, he gently squeezed her shoulder and let go. "I have to go now, Atris."

"No," she cried, pulling his arm.

"You know I have to go, Atris. I would stay for you, you know that, but I have to go. There are people out there who need me—who can help me reduce my ever increasing sensitivity to the Force."

She gripped his arm tighter.

"Atris," he groaned, looking into her eyes. He couldn't help what he was feeling and he could see that his departure was beginning to tear at her. He could feel the truth between them.

It had been there since the very first moment they met.

She looked into his, pleadingly. She leaned in, her long snow white hair draped over her shoulders.

With his hands, Kail caressed her cheek and pushed her hair back. Closing their eyes, they brought their lips to touch, causing both young Knights to feel their bodies spark and feel powerful emotions surge through their bodies.

His wide lips touched her thin lips, locking with them in endless bliss.

He held her body close to him, taking in the warmth that seemed to wrap over him. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, his lips rushing to meet with hers in every angle they could muster.

Before he could make sense of what was going on, he found himself in her quarters, their clothes seemingly rushing off. He found his hands aching to run over her body and touch her soft skin.

He could feel no pain, only the need and love for one another flow openly between them. Lying on his back, a sudden burst of warmth surged through him, his eyes watching her roam over him, her hips close to his.

Pulling her as close as he could to her body, he heard her through ragged gasps and moaning. He kissed her neck and felt her run her hands across his own body, her pale skin contrasting with his golden skin.

They continued their dance of tongues and body for the entire night, until they were touched with a burst of euphoria that ran all throughout their bodies, leaving the cool sweat amongst their bodies to glisten their tired bodies.

His hands caressing her cheek as she slept peacefully beside him, he smiled. "I love you," he whispered, knowing she was deep in sleep to have heard it. "I loved you from the moment I first saw you." He kissed her forehead, his eyes closing.

Somehow, the pain was gone—for this one night it was all gone.

There was no rain, no cries of mercy, just peace.

Keeping her as close to him as he could, he lost all consciousness.

_

* * *

The Republic is losing their systems one at a time, Revan had said to Kail when they had first met._

_But what can I do? I'm only one Jedi,_ he replied.

The mysteriously masked figure chuckled. _My friend, one Jedi goes a long way against the Mandalorians. One Jedi is equal to a thousand of those monsters._

Kail had frowned, not quite believing the famed leader.

_It's true,_ Revan said, a smile fixed beneath that mask. _I am glad you don't believe in propaganda, but keep in mind that we're in war. Each moment you hesitate means that there are more lives that are lost. We need you, Kail._ Revan rested both hands on Kail's shoulders, leaving the young man to contemplate what Revan was saying.

_What sets me apart from any of these other Jedi?_ Kail still didn't get what was so important.

_Kail, you have a special gift. You're stronger than any Jedi I know in the Living Force. You can _feel_ these deaths—you can create the strongest of bonds. I know you are capable; Master Kavar himself has spoken of you at great length to all of the Masters._ Revan sighed, removing both hands from Kail.

_I doubt Master Kavar would speak of me in such a way._

Revan brought a hand up to hold Kail's thoughts. _You may doubt me, but I do speak the truth. You sense no deception, especially since you're far more powerful than many of the Jedi we've recruited._ Revan's hand extended towards Kail, almost begging the young Knight to take it. _Join us, Kail. We need your help. You may be our only hope._

Kail lowered his head. _Please, give me time to think. I'm not sure if I can accept this burden._

Revan merely nodded. _Very well, Kail._ A small circular disk flew from Revan's hand to Kail's._ If you decide to change your mind and join us, don't hesitate to call._

Turning around, the mighty and revered Revan left, leaving Kail to contemplate his decision.

Before Kail knew it, raindrops began to fall from above, causing him to look up and see grey skies. Confused, he turned around, trying to figure out where he was.

It was obvious he was no longer in the Jedi Temple.

The area around him was filled with jagged rocks and large caverns. Large, bipedal creatures screamed throughout the air, shattering these very rocks. The sky was rolling in a thick green haze, with the occasional thunder and burst of lightning that split the sky apart.

_Where am I?_ Looking around, he continued to see absolutely nothing, save for the terrifying sight before his eyes. Nervous, he began to walk around, noticing slits in the ground that emitted a greenish light.

The ground rumbled, forcing the Knight to regain his composure from time to time.

He journeyed across the rocky plains until his sight rested on a large black structure before him. It seemed to be the only manmade structure on the planet, with a long, winding bridge, followed by doors the size of giants.

Walking past the bridge, he made his way past the doors into a large round building that seemed to be a darker version of the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. He fought down the urge to scream and merely shuddered.

The rain continued to fall, turning his skin moist, though he hardly felt it. He took another step towards the entrance, only to pause and gasp as a drop hit him hard across the cheek.

Scowling, Kail rubbed his cheek and looked up.

The rainfall had become harder, with larger droplets that came crashing down on the plains, thickening the green haze.

The drops began to hit him, peppering him in welts and causing him to cry out.

The rain crashed against his hand, causing him to cry out even louder in pain. Bringing his hand up to look at, he noticed a burn.

The rain had begun to burn away at him.

Fear beginning to race through him and his heartbeat matching the pace of his fear, Kail ran as fast as he could to the doors, hoping against all odds that the doors would open for him.

Much to his luck, the doors did part way for him, causing him to leap through the door. Sliding on the ground and rolling ungracefully, Kail could only moan in pain at the growing welts along his golden skin. Much of his clothes had been seared away.

Gasping and panting, he rose, coming face to face with a sight that startled him all the more.

There were bodies before him, their expressions contorted in a mixture of fear and agony.

Their bodies were splayed open, revealing internal organs, while others were impaled or found in some other form of cruelty.

Some of the faces were those he recognized, others weren't.

Revan.

Malak.

Bastila.

As he came to the fourth figure he recognized, he gasped in horror, his eyes growing wide and his heart leaping.

Atris.

She was clad in her long white robes, only she appeared much older. Her hair was neatly tied into a bun, but her face was frozen with fear. She was caught in a spread eagle, her white robes stained with blood.

_No!_ He gasped. _It can't be! I swore I'd protect you. You can't be like this! Not like the others!_ He raced to touch her, only to feel himself being tugged away from her.

_Atris!_ He tried to scream.

_Atris, I won't let you go! I won't let you die!_

He found himself being pulled under the ground, iron hands grabbing him and pulling him deeper into the ground that had shifted into a liquid pit.

_I won't lose you! _

_Atris!_

The last thing he heard before he was completely pulled under was the sound of cruel laughter.

* * *

He shot out of the bed, covered in sweat. The cool air did little to chill his warm body off, while his chest heaved with each breath he took. He glanced over, not quite recovered, but glad to be back in a place he recognized.

He saw her naked form sleeping peacefully.

The first rays of Coruscant's sun had shot through the blinds of her window.

He slowly regained his breathing, but his mind was still focused on the dream—or vision. It had been cruel, and it had not been like the others.

Shutting his eyes, Kail brought his index finger and thumb to rub them. He sat at the edge of the bed, running his hand through his short dark hair. _What do I do?_ He looked over at Atris' sleeping form again.

_I can't leave her—not after this. I love her._

He could still feel the phantom traces of pain from the night's horrible vision. The pain had wracked all over his body and was slowly retreating as dawn came. The sad truth of it all was that Kail couldn't fight the vision. The pain was still there and he knew that if he stayed, he would continue to suffer.

His last image was of her frozen in pain and suffering. He couldn't let anything happen to her, even if it could be a dream.

Clenching his jaw, Kail knew he would have to do something he would never forgive himself for.

He'd leave to join Revan.

It was all he could hope to do. Perhaps ending the Mandalorian threat would end his tormenting visions and perhaps bring about some peace to the Galaxy once more.

Kail bit his lip and donned his clothing.

He afforded himself one last look of Atris, sleeping peacefully. He brought her light blanket and covered her. Kissing her cheek, he whispered, "I hope you can forgive me for what I am about to do, my dear Atris. Keep your hair down; I've always loved it like that. I love you—never forget that."

Turning about, he steeled himself and left.


	2. Chapter II

_Chapter II_

It had been almost three years since he had been on Coruscant. The sky was clear of clouds and surprisingly, there was little traffic on this day. He had just left his transport and had taken the first air taxi to the Jedi Temple.

He was still reeling from the pain and emptiness he felt, but what's more, he couldn't get the awful images of the lives he took out of his mind.

The battle of Malachor had been a long, brutal and devastating one, but in the end, the Republic triumphed with Kail as the General who led the fleet. He didn't feel he had triumphed in the slightest. Some part of him had forgotten why he had left to join the war in the first place, yet another part—the older part of him—remembered exactly why.

He had left her when she was asleep.

He had left her on her own the night they had professed their love for each other.

Kail could only hope that Atris had forgiven him, though he could scarcely believe that she ever could; not with the way he left, at least.

His eyes meandered across the spectacle of the open city. Silver and gold buildings rose high into the air, piercing the very clouds and ascending beyond until they reached a level where it was barely tolerable to breathe the air.

Kail could only sigh. He could feel nothing—not even the vibrancy of life on the planet. He couldn't even feel the presence of the dug cab driver who jabbered on about Coruscanti politics and the latest changes in the Mandalorian War. He looked out at the city, watching traffic zip past him. Before him stood a large five pillar structure that challenged even the tallest of structures on the planet.

The Jedi Temple, in all of its glory, had never been so terrifying to him.

He didn't know how she would react—he didn't even know how the rest of the Council would feel about the only Jedi who was about to return and seek forgiveness. _Forgiveness?_ His mind pondered the very word, contemplating what it was that made him grimace at the thought of it. There was no forgiveness for his actions, and there certainly wouldn't be any penance for him granted by the Council.

Kail focused his thoughts on Atris. He left her alone and for three years, he hadn't written a single letter to her or sent her some sign that he was still alive.

The world around him continued to spin, leaving the misguided young man to ponder what fate he had left the woman he had loved to endure. So buried in his thoughts, Kail paid the driver and walked on the hard, ferrocrete surface of Coruscant, the capital of the Republic, ignoring the people that passed him by, and ignoring the touch of the sun's rays against his cool golden flesh.

He looked up at the bright shining star, tugging at his tunic. Clad in his age old Jedi robes, he clenched his jaw and took a step forward. It had been a long time since he had worn these robes. He felt it would only be fitting, as he once was a symbol of peace and justice. During the War, he was clad in armour, and now he was nothing more than a broken man.

There was even a time when he had shared the company of the Lady Revan herself.

It had been but one of the many times he had lost himself in fear. Revan had freely given herself to help him explore the depths of their humanity—or to find some way to break his will and bend it to hers.

Nothing more than a broken shell—bereft of his 'gift' as Revan had once called it, he was one of the few soldiers to return to the Republic, tired and aching for home. Kail, however, had no such place to call home. The Navy had offered him a position, but he politely declined. He wore the robes of a Jedi, not a fleet commander, though he found himself contemplating whether he should burn his bridges with the Order.

He quickly dismissed the idea: the pain had not gone away and it seemed that the Masters were the only ones capable of helping him. Kail held no thoughts that the Masters would actually help him, but some part of him seemed convinced that they might seek pity on him.

He quickly dismissed that idea too. There was only one real reason why he was back at the Temple: Atris. The dull throbbing pain continued to echo throughout his skull, forcing the man to pause for a moment and produce a small tube from his belt. Popping its lid, he downed the contents of it: several pills that would help ease the pain.

Sighing, he looked up before him, seeing rows of stairs that led up to a pyramid shaped structure that quickly branched out into a large pillar with four more pointing in the north, south, east and west directions. His heartbeat increased and his breathing became shallow and ragged: Kail had arrived at the Jedi Temple. Wringing his hands nervously, the young man made his way up the long, winding stairs, not sure why he had chosen to go to the Council.

His eyes watched the large statues on either side of him, signifying the greatest of Jedi that had fought for the Jedi. He knew that the Masters revered them and that these were figures who had given their very lives for the Republic and the Jedi Order.

He snorted, finding the irony in the iconic heroes' actions and the Jedi Order.

Finally passing the last step, he came towards a young Padawan, who quickly caught his attention. Bowing, Kail merely said, "I have returned home. I believe the Council may want to have a few words with me."

The Padawan nodded. "Yes, Master, come this way." Turning about, she led Kail through the hallways of the Jedi Order, taking the Knight into the depths of his fears and towards his destiny.

Nothing had changed in the Temple, and Kail couldn't help but find his old memories here. His eyes came to a wall where he and Atris used to spend time speaking of the Force and the differences between their Masters.

His heartbeat fluttered.

They passed the windowsill where he had been that fateful day, mulling over the decision to leave and join Revan and Malak in the war efforts. It was there that he had finally professed his love for Atris and eventually left.

His hand twitched.

They continued through the hallways until the Padawan paused at a familiar set of doors. "One of the Masters requested that you come here first," she said, answering the unasked question. "The Council will call on you shortly." Bowing, the Padawan left Kail to wonder who had decided to call on him before his supposed meeting.

Calming himself, using an old breathing exercise, he steeled himself and walked into the room. He looked shocked, seeing her sitting there, after all that time.

There were many changes, and one of them he noticed was that her long flowing hair was now tied in a bun and cut short. Her eyes had become ice cold and her regal face had become harder.

The only thing that hadn't changed was her robes.

Atris stood near her window, looking out at the world outside.

Kail hadn't said a single word. He looked at her with awe, sadness and he realized how much he missed her. He could feel a hollow pang within his heart, and there was a part of him—that age old part—that wanted to rush out with open arms and embrace her, feeling her warmth in his arms and to touch her skin. He could almost smell the very fragrance of her skin, and remember the taste of her lips.

The only problem was that the look in her eyes was one of complete and utter contempt. Her eyes flashed with something that faded as quickly as it appeared when she saw him. It was the same as what he felt.

He wanted to say something—he wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her and let her know that everything is all right and that he missed her, yet he knew he couldn't.

She loathed him and his very presence here. He didn't need the Force to tell him that.

He tried to open his mouth, yet all he could feel was the growing lump in his throat. He didn't have to say anything yet; Atris spoke up for him.

"I heard reports that you were dead," she said, picking a crystal sphere, watching the light bend and reflect into a mixed array of colours. "I heard that you were killed on Dxun, Serocco, and Eres III. I had even heard that the Mandalorians claimed your blood on one of the distant Iridonian colony worlds." She turned around, staring into his eyes. Her voice was hard, yet there was something that contained a trace of what appeared to be relief. "But," she continued, placing the sphere down and taking a seat, "I can see that they were all rumours."

He nodded, his hand scratching his chin. He could feel the stubble that had been there for a few days now.

"But I can see the changes in you, now, Kail." Her voice was heavy and filled with sadness. "You may have won the war, but at what cost?"

"A lot of innocents have been saved, Atris."

She looked at him sternly. "Perhaps, but you can still feel the pain, am I not right? You left to join the war hoping to abandon the pain but you only brought more of it. You gave in to your selfish needs and desires—you let _me_ give in to mine!"

He took a step towards her. "I'm sorry, Atris, I really am. If you feel I left because of my own selfish needs, then I won't change your mind. I left because of you—I left to protect you. If only you knew what I do—you would have done the same." He could feel his ire grow, looking at her, knowing she couldn't possibly understand. "I told you: I love you. I would never have left you that night if it weren't for the Mandalorians burning an entire planet. The Force gave me a vision that night, Atris."

"It's _Master_ Atris, Kail," she spat, "you would do well to remember that. Don't think to cheapen me with your lies—you left me in my moment of weakness! How can you even have a vision in the Force? There were very few who could do that and not even you are powerful enough to have had one."

He took a step forward, his anger beginning to grow. He could feel the dull, throbbing pain begin to subside—his need to make her believe him beginning to grow with every moment he grew angry. "Listen to me, Atris; I didn't leave you because I wanted to. You are the only reason why I am back."

She stood up, looking at him with an icy gaze. "The day you left was the day you threw away our friendship and anything and everything I ever held for you."

Taking a step back, he shut his eyes closed. The lump was growing and the anger was subsiding, giving way to the pain that was growing. Deep inside him, he could feel his heart aching all the more. "Are you so ready and willing to throw away what we had, Atris?"

She shook her head. "I wasn't the one foolish enough to run away. You threw it away, Kail. You have no one to blame but yourself."

"I can see it was a mistake to have come back here at all," he snorted. "I should have known you would have left me out to burn like this. Nothing is good enough in the eyes of 'Atris the Pure,' am I right?" He took a step towards Atris, his voiced filled with pain. "Well, some things may have changed with me, but I can see the changes in you. You're not as forgiving as you once were. You don't seem as Jedi-like as you once were."

She looked at him, her eyes narrowed.

"Looks like I'm done here. I'll always love you, Atris, just remember that." Turning about, he walked out of the door, leaving Atris to her own devices.

Before he left, however, she cried out, "you will find your punishment fitting. You'll always be alone, Kail—remember that very well. You'll have plenty of time to contemplate your gift and the error of your ways."

Kail chose to say nothing, and continued walking, swallowing the thick lump in his throat.

For some time he continued to walk through the hallways, the natural sunlight beginning to fade quickly. His eyes shot up and he saw dark clouds moving in quickly, covering the rays of the sun.

He looked back at the door to Atris' room and then looked away. He walked away. There was only one place in the Temple that he would go to.

Standing by the window sill, he watched the rain fall for ages, peppering the people on the ground and the vehicles in the air.

_Some things never change_, he mused, watching the pristine buildings become drab and soulless structures. He sighed—it was all he could do. Everything had, in fact, changed: Atris had become a Master and was scarred from his leaving, the Jedi looked down upon him with shame and arrogance and most of all, he could feel the world's cry burning away at his very soul.

He could sense _nothing_ around him. He couldn't close his eyes and feel the currents of the Force.

Kail had been blinded by doing the very thing that the Council had wished against him and there was nothing he could do about it. Atris had been right: he had no one to blame but himself.

Sighing, the broken man was left to contemplate the reason why he returned. Atris had cast him out of her life and despised him and yet, he could feel something else. He knew she would never love him again. He could see it in her eyes—the anger had taken control of her life. While he ascended to the rank of General of an army in the Republic, she had ascended to Jedi Master, becoming an icon of symbol and peace for all of the younger generations.

While Kail fought and put his life on the line for countless generations to come, Atris and the Order had prospered.

He clenched his fist, grinding his teeth and growling as he looked out at the darkening world.

He had fought all of this for nothing—the lives of hundreds of thousands lay burdened on his shoulders; their cries and screams of horror forever ringing in his ears. They were there every moment he closed his eyes, every second he wasn't preoccupied.

Kail had become his own demon and yet, he was irked by the level of growth the Jedi Order had sustained during the war. Narrowing his eyes, he looked at his lightsaber and back at the dark clouds.

_Revan was right_, he mused. _I should have left to join them—there is no place here for me, whether or not it was meant to be. _He lowered his head, sighing in weariness and for once, he could feel himself alone and cold in a cruel world.

He allowed himself a tear to drop, shortly before the footsteps of a young Padawan echoed into his ears.

"Master?" She asked him. It was the same young girl.

"Yes?" He asked, looking out at the burgeoning clouds.

"The Masters are ready to see you."

He inhaled deeply, calming himself before he turned to see the young girl.

Her face was round, her skin porcelain and her eyes soft brown, matching her chestnut coloured hair.

"What is your name, Padawan?"

She appeared apprehensive at first, not quite sure if she should tell him.

He allowed himself a small smile. The Jedi teachings were at least pointed in the right direction.

After another moment, she finally answered, "I'm Padawan Shan."

Kail bowed. "Very well, Padawan Shan, lead me to the Council."


End file.
